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Matt Zamudio's avatar

Language insanity, in all the best ways! Your writing is like a bunch of firecrackers popping right in front of my face. I love the beginning, especially the stuff about "untying" the ribbon.

"What’s the first thing them boys wanted to do when they seen that ribbon? That’s right, they wanted to untie it. Because you see girls, whatcha don’t understand is how hard it is for a boy to see a girl with purity in his heart when she’s doing her Mile Run in a pair of booty shorts, face done up like a supermodel. A boy sees a ring on a finger, and his mind says, Taken. But a boy sees a ribbon, and his mind goes, A present? For me?"

Excellent :)

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Wil Dalton's avatar

Great story! Love the twists! Good use of objects! Somehow, perversely perhaps, I want to order pizza for dinner? In my defense, I always want to order pizza for dinner.

Minor suggestion: I wonder if you could find an object to tie Pizza Face and his waiting together, even now. Maybe Morgan takes the ribbon and slips into Tara’s dress and PizzaFace has her wedding gown and asks what to do with it and she says I don’t need it now but he keeps it, so he can say something like True Love Waits, I still got that dress...

I like how you capture the universal concerns of high school, but also the new reality of influencer makeup channels!

And I know this is a sitcom/movie plot, but I did in real life have a buddy who went to Catholic school and loved the purity messaging because somehow the butthole didn’t count?!?!?

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